Holidays

Hi all,

I hope that you all are enjoying your time with friends and family this holiday season.  I'm trying to retain my optimism, but it's a little hard for me this year.  I suppose it's always the way of the holidays that we lament the loss of people who are no longer with us.  Strangely, this year I have many people who I miss despite the fact that they're still here.  Yet I feel their loss because they aren't as close as they used to be.  Or their lives and families have occupied their time.  That's as it should be, I suppose.  Maybe it's my fault for being too intransigent.  Or dreaming dreams that are too big. 

So, I've recommitted myself to thanking people who have helped me, or who make my life better.  People who care and show that they do.  I've written several letters this morning, and I want to keep my gratitude.  It's not every day that you are as lucky as I've been.  Though it isn't always clear, I hope that there's a reason.  I have to believe that the people who have been in my life were there because I needed them.  And maybe, if I'm even luckier, I will be able to be there for them in their time of need.  Perhaps my ability to empathize gives me my greatest strength, and my ability to help those who need it my biggest life goal.

Anyway, there are my musings for today.  Have a great day everybody,

~Mark

Terrible Tuesdays?

Hi all,

Every day is a struggle, but one worth putting your best foot forward on.  My grandma would have said, "fake it 'till you make it" or "pull yourself up by your bootstraps."  This morning was cold in my town, and I forgot/procrastinated about my insulation for my attic, so the breeze was coming right in.  Add to that the fact that my fire went out overnight, and it was a chilly morning.  Then, youtube crashed on my amazon TV, and I couldn't listen to music!  It seemed like everything was going wrong.  But I found my way to work, said hi to some coworkers and students, and went on my merry(ish) way.

In a rough patch, all of these things could have stopped me from getting to work.  They seemed to be insignificant, but they pile up and keep me from being the positive, happy self I aspire to be.  I could have looked at the cold as a barrier, focused on my fire instead of just turning up the thermostat, and started down the path to a negative nellie kind of day.  My upset stomach could have built itself up in my mind into an unconquerable obstacle.  Instead, I overcame the frustrations I was feeling and recommitted to having a good day.  It helps to talk to my parents and re-center my outlook.  It also helps knowing that I'm valued by both the students and the staff at my school, and that the day wouldn't be the same without me.

Once at school, I found that my student for my first period class was absent, so I got extra prep time.  First, I planned a lesson for geometry tomorrow, then I sat down to reflect on this day and how I can make it better for my students.  I'm going to start with a smile and a greeting for each of them as they come in, to make sure they feel welcomed in their math class.  Then, I'll see how much progress each of them can make today, as they struggle through what is for many of them their most difficult subject.  I'll try to take into account that they all might have had rough/cold/difficult mornings in other ways, and try to make up for the difficulties with a positive attitude and ebullient nature.

At any rate, there's my daily struggle.  I know you all face your own, and I wish you luck in staying positive and facing the challenges with a smile on your face.

Have a great day everybody,

~Mark

Mondays

Hi all,

I wasn't particularly excited about coming in to work today.  I know, shocking.  However, the week before the holiday at school comes with some rare educational opportunities as well as some frustrating behavior.  I went out of my way to be nice to students and faculty alike today, and it has made all the difference.  Yes, there were several behavioral outbursts.  But I also was able to accomplish some real teaching and learning, mostly because I used my skill and persistence, as well as an unwavering belief that all of my students can succeed.  There are only 4 more days before the winter break, and I just know I can make a difference during that time.

It's a rare privilege to help shape the mind of a student, and I take it seriously.  I do, most days and in most ways, love what I do.  It's the nonsense that gets in the way of teaching that I dislike.  Especially because I teach an unpopular subject (math), and students take issue with the subject matter or are intimidated by it, there are conflicts.  It takes my best redirection, my most positive attitude, and my experience as an educator to keep students on task on a regular day.  But this week is when my mettle really gets tested.  I sell something that no one wants to buy, with a group of hormonal teenagers as my audience.  To do my job right, I have to be able to sell ice to Eskimos.  With sugar/caffeine rushes.  On a week where many of them have family things that stress them out.  While all they want to do is celebrate, and the last thing they want to do is learn another math lesson.

Anyhow, I welcome the challenge.  Let's see what next block brings.

Have a great day,

Mark

Colds

Hi all,

I woke up (after sleeping until 6 this morning - rare for me) with a head cold.  Not a fun feeling, but I still try to find the bright side of it.  I know that without feeling this way sometimes, I might not appreciate the days when I feel great.  And maybe, with lots of water, tea and rest I can overcome it and be stronger eventually.

Anyhow, though I don't have a ton of motivation today, I do have some.  And I'm excited about a few things happening today, so I'll rest, hydrate and power through.  Because I should.  And because I can.  Every day is full of possibilities if I let myself dream.  It would be easy for me to just watch tv and do nothing today, but that would be crappy.  Bad for me, and lacking in possibility.  Even if it costs some money and makes me a bit uncomfortable, it's better than sitting at home doing nothing.  I get good conversation, maybe some new friends, and interaction with family.  All important stuff.

Have a great day all - I'm going to grab my guitar and do a bit of practice.

~Mark

Beards.

Hi all,

I guess my beard is becoming symbolic of my journey at this point.  I like that I'm starting to look like Yukon Cornelius, and I try to be jolly enough to match my face.  It's hard this time of year, remembering family that is no longer around, or spending time far from friends.  People just aren't what they used to be.  Or maybe I'm becoming a different person and some of my friends will just fall away if they aren't on board with who I'm becoming.

I want the world to be better.  I want to help students learn, bring joy into as many situations as I can, and have people like me.  I wouldn't think that would be too much to ask, but lately it has been.  So, the beard allows me to keep my emotions behind the scruff.  It starts conversations, and makes me a caricature of myself.  As the bearded lumberjack, people assume I'm jovial and fun, and so I fall into my role more often than not.  In a way, having a larger than life beard makes me as a person a bit larger than life.

Yes, it's itchy.  Yes, I might look more professional with it trimmed.  Yes, I've lost girlfriends to the beard.  But overall it's worth it.  It's like a witch's hair.  Once shorn, I lose the abilities that come with the beard.  As Gary, "the jacket" used to say when he was an assistant principal, sometimes the clothes make the man.  He wore a jacket every day he was a principal, and it seemed to carry the authority and weight of his position.  People stopped and paid attention just because he looked like he was in charge.  My beard maketh me.  People treat me differently because I'm brawny, big and bearded.  I've been called lumbersexual.  Girls who otherwise might not pay attention to me start conversations randomly about the beard.  It's become my "thing," and as such, it changes how my day goes.  I go into it jovial and positive, and when I can't maintain that level of happiness, I can hide some emotion behind the beard.  Students say things like, "hommes' looks like Santa!" and even when I know they're making fun of me, it makes me happy.

So.  I write, I compose, I teach.  I try to be a good dad to my puppy, a good teacher to my students, a good friend and son and brother.  Through all of this, I think my beard changes my attitude and therefore my day.  Maybe it's a sugar pill, but I choose to believe.

Have a great day all,

~Mark

Coffee and renewed optimism

Hi all,

Me again.  Sorry if you're tired of reading my thoughts by now, but I like putting them down.  It seems to help me focus for the day.  So here's today.

I can't start my fricking fire.  That's annoying.  I think I'm going to have to start fresh after removing all the ashes after work today.  It needs to be going for the arctic chill that's coming.

Luckily, I still have Jake the dog to keep me warm, and coffee for my hands.  It's been a nice morning.

I also have the privilege of teaching today, which I am trying to embrace, though it takes me away from my warm house with my snuggly puppy.  It also leads me into a milieu of hormonal middle school children in the weeks before the holidays, and it's interesting trying to wrangle all of them into a math lesson.  But it's a challenge I accept, each and every day when I wake up.  They deserve my best, and I will do my utmost to ensure that they are educated to the fullest of my ability.

Maybe I'm oversharing with this whole blog thing, but I like it.  It reminds me to think about what's important, and what I can live without.  For instance, even on this bitter cold morning, I have clothes, blankets, a warm dog and coffee, electricity, heat, a car with a butt warmer (thanks Audi for thinking of that) and the ability to become vertical and ventilating.  Compared to most of the world, I'm doing just fine.

Enjoy your day everybody!  And if it's going to be a shitake mushroom day, fry them in butter and hope they are delicious.

Mark

On days when it's hard to be optimistic

I'm going to do it anyway.

At least I will try to still be optimistic.  When I woke up this morning, I remembered that someone close to me had left my life.  It's not fun to wake up to that, or to have lost people who you love.  But I woke up anyway, walked down the stairs and greeted my puppy, who was pretty pumped to see me.  He didn't realize that his mom made the decision to leave me, or that I was grumpy this morning.  He just wanted to see his human and be petted.

Maybe this blog will be the difference between me having a positive and a more negative day.  Either way, I know Jake from State Farm (the dog) helped, and I know that I am committed to giving my best to my students today.  So what can a guy do?  Well, I'm going to greet every student with a smile.  Remember the best things that happened with my ex, and the good that was wrought in the world because of our happiness, fleeting though it may have been.  Then I'm going to turn that into positive outcomes in my classroom.  I have the most math-phobic students in my school, so I will build in them confidence, security, and love of my subject.  Then, at the end of the day, I will do something nice for me.  I'm not sure what that is yet, but I have lots of friends and some family, so maybe I can set up something with one of them.

It's on the bad days that I realize how important it is to remain positive.  I could easily be grumpy all day and put negative stuff in the world, but that would probably lead to grumpy students, me having to call parents and write discipline referrals, and other bad things.  So.  I'll put aside my personal crap, suck it up, and get through the day with my best attitude.  I'll probably have crappy points in my day.  But at least I can start with a positive attitude and pet my dog.

Have a great day all,

Mark

philosophy attacks!

I like this a lot.

Thanks for the share.

http://philosiology.blogspot.com/2011/04/surviving-philosopher-attack.html

I hope that in general I am not one of these, but sometimes I can't help myself I'm sure.